Late night thoughts.

Recently I spend a lot of time in the middle of the night pondering things. I would prefer to be asleep, but for some reason I am not. I am trying to live a simple life. I go to work, attend church, fhe, and institute, and try to have a balanced social life. I am striving to let go of the past and work towards a future that is worth living.
I keep being told I need to get married, I am told I am looking for lasting friendships with young guys who don't know what they want in life. The average age of the people I associate with is probably 20 years old. If course these people would become my friends. After a while, I begin to let them into my comfort zone and develop a relationship of trust. Because of this I am often hurt when they move on to the next stage of life and leave me behind.
Currently, there are a few girls I find interesting and would pursue a relationship with, but it takes time for me to open up to anyone. By the time I get to the point that I am ready to admit I like someone, the situation changes. Whether the girl moves on, or becomes attached to someone else, or I find out she's got a crazy side that I don't want to deal with, it I get scared because I don't want to be hurt again. I told myself years ago that I probably won't get married. The girl will need to play her cards just right to convince me that she wants me. Without being way to obvious or desperate. I know I will get married at some point. I'm not forcing it.
I am also working very hard to get out of debt. My car will be paid off in June. And I think I will have all my credit cards paid off by the end of 2015. I am determined to accomplish this goal.